“A gentleman is someone who does, not what he wants to do, but what he should do.”
– Haruki Murakami
The “gentleman” trend is making a big hype not only in fashion but also in music. Korean Youtube sensation PSY recently launched his second single entitled, Gentleman. The song is about looking like a gentleman, but not acting as one.
Come to think of it, a lot of us are going back to the chivalric fashion but leaving behind chivalry per se. We grew up with the idea that the best model of a guy is the gentleman type, yet we fail to actually grow up to become one.
A lot of people declared chivalry dead for quite some time. We say: it’s just in a coma.
Let’s start a movement to revive it once again. We’ve extensively discussed before how to look like a gentleman, this time let us talk about how to act like one.
Open doors for her
The best way to impress your lady is by holding the door for her. This applies to all types of door whether it’s the door of a small room or that of a car. Opening a door for your lady not only leaves a good impression, but also gives her a subconscious idea that you, as a man, can open opportunities for her.
Protect her on the streets
“If you’re walking with your lady on the sidewalk, I still like to see a man walking street-side, to protect the lady from traffic. I grew up with that, and I hate to see something like that get lost. I still like to see that a man opens the door. I like those touches of chivalry that are fast disappearing.”
Chivalry is often associated with the medieval ages. Nonetheless, it can still be applied in the modern times. While crossing the street, walking at the side of where the cars are going will make her feel safe. This act doesn’t really make a difference when both of you get run over by a car, but it does make her feel special.
Carry her bag (only heavy ones)
Don’t be THAT guy who carries his girlfriend’s hand bag. It’s painful to the eyes, annoying and most of all degrading. It is degrading for you because you are the man in the relationship. Secondly, it is degrading for your girl because you are indirectly telling her that she can’t handle things on her own. There’s a thin line between chivalry and chauvinism. Learn how to distinguish it. Carry her bag only when she can’t handle it.
Offer your arm
Nobody cares if you have the guns for it. Although an extra bicep wouldn’t hurt, the fact that you offered your arm to her already guarantees that you have a place in her heart. Take note that a lady often sacrifices comfort just to look good for you. Can you imagine the pain of walking in high heels? Tell her that you will always be there for her by offering your arm.
Pay for her dinner
Make sure you pay for her dinner on your first date. If your partner insists that she pays her share, insist harder against it. Nonetheless, there’s nothing wrong with going Dutch at least once in a while. Just make sure you contribute the larger amount.
Being a gentleman is a commitment to serve the women, children and elderly. Nobody said it was easy. Manhood itself is a complicated thing. It requires discipline and a good heart. The best way to gain respect is to become a dignified gentleman.